Rest In Peace Lilly

Sad news. Friday July 25, 2008 I lost a dear friend. Lilly was 15 years old and had been with me since she was a kitten. It all started one New Years Eve, when Michelle, Shannon and I were house sitting for Jeanette. She said "Don't let Natasha get out, she's in heat." Well, she did get out. Several months later 3 kittens were born. A white one, a silver one, and a black one. That little black kitty came home with me and I named her Lilly.
We've had one crazy journey together. She's lived in several places with me. Her sister Zora came to live with us 2 years later. For a brief period of time she had a dog brother named Epi Thatcher, a golden retriever. For the last 4 years she's had a dog sister, Sachi Valdez, the chihuahua.
She was a wonderful cat, she never bit or scratched anyone. She loved to hang out when people were over. She was a daredevil and a climber. She loved to lay on the railing over the stairway, never afraid she was going to miss as she jumped up. She had amazing balance. She loved to always be underfoot and getting into anything and everything. Lilly certainly made sure she was always noticed.
My heart aches and I miss her terribly. The house is certainly a lot less active since she is missing.

May I Please Have Some New Legs?

Busy weekend for me! Friday I just flopped. The work week felt really long. I think I was asleep before 11!

Saturday I was up by 6:30 and moving by 7:30. First task was the yard. I usually do it every other week, but because I went to see Will last weekend I was a week behind. The weed whacker was out of spool so on went the gardening gloves and the edging had to be done by hand. As I went around the yard I was pulling out all the long growth around the edges, alternating hands and tossing behind me. I must have looked like some crazy cartoon character. The little trees have been sprouting a number of branches that are right at the level to poke out my eyes. Blind gardening does not sound like a fun idea. So I took the clippers and cut them back. After that came the mowing of 3 weeks growth. Then the rake. I'm happy to report some of the grass is finally spreading to the bald patch. 3 hours of work with a few good breaks from the heat and the yard looks great. I even tended to the flowers both in the front and back.





I also:
Put away a load of laundry, tidied the kitchen and living room, cleaned the downstairs bath, dishes, and took out my grandmothers chair to be cleaned and set in the sun for airing after living in Amy's basement for 5 years.

Sunday I made Amy a lasagna for her birthday and brought it over. The Butchers were having band practice so afterwards everyone had cake. A rainstorm was rolling in so I made a haste exit to get home and get the trash out before the deluge.

I have still yet to finish the cabinets and free myself from the moths once and for all. It's such a loathsome task I'm finding it hard to get myself to finish it up. I know I will be grateful once it is done, it's just getting myself to do it is the challenge.

I Have an Enemy!

UGGGGGGH! I've been infested with Flour Moths! I must have brought home a bad bag of flour from the store.

I cannot even tell you how upsetting this is. I have so much stocked in my pantry. I don't know if I will have to get rid of everything I've stored or not. It's disturbing and scary and icky and expensive! I thought they were only in the 1 stand alone cabinet and I cleaned that all out and plastic containered everything and it was fine. Then I went away for the weekend and came back and they are attacking a different cabinet. Hopefully they are just there. I will get more containers and clean out that cabinet and pro actively clean the other cabinet and that should be the end of that. I hope. I tossed 2 trash bags of food the last time. 2! I'm too broke for this. This pantry stocking has been my life line. So very sad! Not to mention gross!

32 years of life and this is the first time I have ever seen this. There have been a lot of problems with food this past year. I think the standards are getting entirely too low. I wish people would get it together and be more concerned for peoples well being. Now, I've lost so much food, and I will have spent over $100 buying cleaning agents and plastic containers. All on top of having to replace all this food. All on top of I already can't even pay all my bills. The spiral moves on downward.

Still At It

Wow how time slips by! Sad to report that all of my dear friends are having terrible and dramatic changes in their lives. Most of my time has been spent listening, feeding, comforting and offering small bits of advice. I love them all dearly and I truly hope they feel better soon. I know they all have their strengths, and with just a little diligence and careful planning and execution they will all be able to rise above these troubles.

I've been carrying on with at least keeping this house clean if I can't repair it. I am in love with my new mop and Spic and Span. I hated Pine sol's smell, and I'm sure that's what lead to my slacking off on mopping.

Will's flowers are doing well. The box in the front is growing like crazy! They look so cheerful. The pots in the back are not fairing as well. There was a massive storm and I was not home at the time to move them. The pink ones looked completely like a lost cause. But as of today I have 5 blooms that have come back. Nature is amazing. The blue and purple are still ok, but they are just ok. Not really sure what I need to do to make them as good as the ones in the front though. I have no idea what I'm doing!

In the summer time I am not generally hungry for dinner and I often skip it. I find that I actually feel better when I do. I think sometimes in the warmer weather the fullness makes me feel a little sick. But I have a fridge full of left overs that I can take for lunch. So my new plan is that I will continue to make meals as needed. If I am not hungry, then they become lunch to go to work with. Much better than a bologna sandwich. As an example, tea and toast and jam is usually just the right amount for an evening meal for me these days. Maybe cereal, or some cheese and crackers. I really just don't need much at night. But for lunch I had a good amount of spaghetti and meat balls so you see, my meals are still there, just kind of flipped around.

I need to get back on track of paying the bills. I have the money, it's just pure procrastination that is keeping me from sending them out. This must stop tonight.

I cleaned the kitchen and took care of the plants today. I'm going to toss in some laundry and do some bills. That's about it for tonight.

Yesterday I vacuumed the furniture, cleaned the kitchen, made dinner, cleaned the first floor bath, and did some dusting. Shawn needed a place to find some peace and came here last night. I made some dinner for us out of just throwing things together. It actually turned out good! I chopped up onions, peppers, celery, carrots and peas and cooked them down in some oil. I added shredded chicken, salt, pepper and adobo. I cooked up some rice and then made a packet of chicken Dijon sauce to put on top of it all. I love that I keep a fully stocked pantry.

I really can't wait until I can be home to take full and proper care of the home. It's all I really want to do. It gives me so much peace.

Moving Forward

Will was here this weekend and we worked on the house. And we worked on the house and worked on the house. We also made steak on the grill. I cleaned up around the outside of the house and Will worked on repairs inside. Will sanded down the tops and sides of a bunch of doors and then sealed them. I still have 2 more to take care of this week. He also managed to unseal almost all of the windows! After 6 years I can finally open windows in this house! He also helped me by doing the trim for the lawn and shot weed killer along the fence.

I mowed the lawn (I'm getting pretty good at this) then I raked up all the destruction from the shredded vines and grass. I swept up the front porch and sidewalk, the back porch and the walkways around the house. There were a million billion trillion of those helicopter seed pods from the trees. Then I dejunked the back porch.

Will had brought me flowers and Shawn was over and her and I got to throw dirt around an put them in the planters. So far they are still alive. I don't know for how much longer though.

It doesn't sound like all that much, but it took all weekend to do. I am exhausted. I couldn't even force myself to do anything today. So I had tea and read a book on my newly cleaned back porch.

All I've really been doing is working on the house. I clean and clean and work on projects and I still feel like I'm getting nowhere. Gah!

Quickie

Yesterday I managed to mow "vacuum" the lawn. I find it easier to deal with if I pretend I am just vacuuming rather than doing yard work. Picture this: I was wearing a fluffy skirt, tee shirt, a newsboy cap, black and white striped socks and ballet flats. That's proper lawn mowing attire, right?

There is something stuck on the back deck, I got most of it off but I think I'm going to need to scrub it. I also noticed that the primer is not holding up and I am going to need to use paint very soon. I should start that this weekend if possible before it gets too hot out. There is a possibility that the paint I used for the front might be ok still, but I'm really not so sure. I also need to get some gloves so I can take down the vines that are growing like crazy, as well as get out the weed whacker to do the edges.

With everything I need to do inside, it's hard to fit in the outside stuff too! The only inside work I did yesterday was to get a shower with Sachi and to do the dishes. I am committed to getting the tables done today. They are really getting on my nerves. Little by little things are improving. I am almost to the point where I can get to finish up the empty rooms and shut the doors on them until it is time to do the repairs.

I'm feeling pretty sinus-y today, but I think it's because of all the blooming and lawn mowing going on.

Tons and tons of work to do at the job today. I just cannot get ahead of it. I'm drowning in paper now for weeks. This is adding to my exhaustion and taking away from my home work time.

I still have some meatloaf left for dinner tonight, but I'm going to have to defrost something for dinner tomorrow to go with the mashed potatoes. I'm leaning toward stopping to get some hot dogs, frying the mashed potatoes and eating them with baked beans.

Ouch?

Happy Earth Day! This morning my cat peed on my "green" grocery bag... Ironic?

I woke up today quite sore in my shoulders and upper back. I guess all this cleaning is catching up to me. It's good to know I'm getting a work out though. Here is a recap of yesterday's actual progress:

Washed the coffee table, Dusted the TV, Put one blanket in the dryer and one away, cleaned up some random items, did the dishes, made this soup:

Cream of Celery Soup
INGREDIENTS:

* 2 tablespoons butter
* 2 1/2 cups chopped celery with leaves
* 3 tablespoons finely chopped onion
* 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 2 teaspoons chicken bouillon granules Mix with some water.
* 4 cups milk
*2 tablespoons Butter to add to soup after milk is in
*A few dashes of Pepper
*A few dashes of Garlic Powder

PREPARATION:
In a 2-quart saucepan over low heat melt butter; add celery and onion and sauté until celery is tender. Stir in the flour, bouillon, and salt until mixture is smooth and bubbly. Stir in milk gradually, stirring constantly; bring to a boil.
Boil, stirring constantly, for 2 minutes.
Makes 5 cups.

This is really, really good. I think next time I might double the recipe so I can have more! It's a great way to use celery that is getting droopy. Less waste, more yum!

I've noticed that I always have all these grand plans for getting things done. I need to learn that after a 9 hour day at work, I just don't have all that much energy or time left. It's also becoming clear that while I love the results of all this cleaning and doing, I can't wait until I get it all down to the point where it's just lighter cleaning on the weekend. I feel like I have no time for me to relax at this point. It's getting to be exhausting.

This is why someone needs to be home just to take care of the house. I also, for all intents and purposes, consider myself living alone. M is never home for the most part. I don't even have really anyone else to clean up after and this is feeling crazy. I skipped cleaning for a week when the world was collapsing and now it is like there are a million more things to do. I've got to hold on until I can get all the excess left over junk out. Then fix the empty rooms, shut the doors and not think about them.

Today I plan on doing the tables and mowing the lawn. Shower for me and Sachi and that is it! Left overs for dinner. Maybe even watch Gosford Park.

Gray and Pink

When I get home I will post a picture of the tree with bright pink blooms outside my office against the gray sky of today. It's such a gloomy day I am going to make cream of celery soup today.

On Saturday, all at the same time, I baked 2 batches of chocolate chip cookies, biscuits, a meatloaf, steamed cauliflower, made a giant pot of mashed potatoes and a huge bowl of egg salad. Yes, all at the same time. I have serious issues.

I brought some of the cookies in to work today to share. I am listening to some Frank Sinatra and I need to get some of this on disc. I have some vinyl but until I get the burner, I'll need to get more anyway. Paragraph that makes no sense precedes this sentence.

I did bunches of cleaning this weekend and realized just how much I really need to do. I started on the dining room. I need to mow the lawn, I had forgotten to charge the battery. I pulled 4 boxes out of the house to donate. 1 box of trash came out of the basement. Still so much more to do down there. The box room might get looked at today. I did some dusting and I dread how much more needs to be done. Coffee table and dining table are the goals for today. I vacuumed and cleaned mirrors. Bathrooms fell by the wayside. Lots of laundry done and put away including bedding and extra blankets. I need to wash all the curtains. *sigh* I need to be home and not at work. The front porch needs so much cleaning and flowers and a little table and bench cushions. If I wasn't so worried about my neighbors...

Another Day Another Dollar

Yeowwwch!

So, the plumbing fiasco ended up costing $733. But it is done and it is paid. The car is going to be $800 when the part comes in. *sigh* They are both being paid with the last of my equity loan.

I received my tax return money and I am now only behind 1 oil payment and one tax bill. Hopefully I can keep paying the credit cards and they will have lower monthly payments and then I will have money to put towards other bills? It's a question because that is my best option at this point...

I spent $40 of the tax return on myself, because I felt that I should get at least something out of it with all the troubles I've had had lately. Here is the list of my loot:
Gosford Park DVD New $9
4 1950's VA CD's and 1 Dion CD $20
Vintage apron $2
Brass candle holder $3
Books: Gulliver's Travels, Ettiquite (sp?) by Emily Post, Treasure Island 1911 printing $5

Quite a nice little haul for the money I must say. I haven't really shopped for myself in a few months so I really don't feel bad about it. Life cannot be all toil and scrimp and save. Sometimes you need a treat to balance it out.

Today I paid up some bills. Some that were looming over my head causing me stress, some that are only every now and again and yet they all fall at the same time. How does that happen? It's irritating.

I am going to dig myself out of this mess. It is going to happen. I've done it before and I will do it again.

Will showed up on my porch as a surprise on Friday. Shawn and I had gone to the diner, where they had no alfredo sauce, and had just gotten back to my house. Will called and asked if I had gotten the flowers he sent me. No, no flowers here. He tells me to check the porch. I look out and there he is, sitting on the porch, with a bouquet of sunflowers. Yet again, Will has amazed me with his kindness. After the week I had he could not let me spend the weekend alone. I love him so much.

We went to the mall on Saturday and he got my hair cut, or as he put it, he got my hair did. He also bought me this amazing Alice in Wonderland print of Alice that looks like a painting on canvas. I had a green tea latte outside the mall with him by a non working fountain. The weather was so perfect. We tried to go to Olive Garden (for alfredo) but they had a 2 hour wait. After driving around a while we ended up at Garfield's. It was terrible, but funny. His fries tasted like Arby's and my pasta sauce I swear was made from Campbell's Tomato Soup. I am not even kidding. I guess pasta was not for me to have!

Sunday we slept too late to go to Chapel, ran around to Circuit City to get a plug to hook up the computer to the TV. It failed. I was so sad to see him go. I cannot wait until we can be together always. The world sparkles so much brighter when we are together. I am going to really push and renew my efforts, because this has gone on long enough. It is also costing me way too much money and sanity to stay here much longer. This city is getting too dangerous.

I'm still working on it...

Dropping in a post now, because I have a few moments where I feel relatively calm right now. These past 2 weeks have been a whirlwind of bad luck. The kind where it leaves you wondering what you could have done to deserve this. But, I know myself and I know that I have been through difficult times in the past and I will land on my feet. I always do. Really there is no other option.

A small outline of what turmoil I'm going through is:

M is moving out. She is going to live with S. This is seriously bad for me. Selfish I know. I brought her into my home to help her out of a bad situation and myself as well. However, since she has been here she has not held up her end of the bargain at all. Not responsibilities, not financial, not personal growth. It will hurt me for her to leave, but in many ways it will make some things easier. I do need to figure out how to stretch my money better in light of this though. I am also dismayed at all the bad choices she makes in her life. But it is her life, not mine. I offer gentle advice at times, but only she can make her own way.

I messed up my bank account to the tune of $500. This is the first time in my 32 years of life this has happened. I'm ok with it because I'm human and bound to make a mistake a some point. It's just happened at a very inconvenient time. I've been struggling to get my finances under control and this felt like a huge failure. It was nearly a month ago, and I am still not recovered from it, not even close.

Things with Will are wonderful as always. He has been really helping me work on the house in his visits. I really wish we had more time together. He holds my heart completely. I have so much respect for him and everything he does. It's rare to find such a genuinely good person.

My toilet on the 3rd floor backed up and is backing into the tub, so says M. I had a horrible row with the home warranty company and the plumbing company they were sending out to do the work. I won't go into all the painful details, but by the end I was crying at my desk at work at how they were treating me. The warranty company is not making me pay the $55 service fee for this ordeal and my Realtor is looking for a new plumber to do the work now. It may end up costing me upwards of $600. Very difficult for me to pay, but I have no choice, as I need to shower on a regular basis.

All the gages on my car have stopped working. It's very hard to drive when you don't know how much gas you have or what speed you are going. This happened about a week and a half ago. I took it into the shop and they said it was a pinched wire and fixed it for $20. Since then, it happened again and again. I dropped it off this morning so they can look into in detail. I await a phone call and the bill, for an unknown amount.

The computers keep not working at work. I fall further and further behind on a daily basis. It's so stressful to not be able to meet all my deadlines. I know there is not a single thing I can do about this situation, it's completely out of my hands. But with everything else going on, I just don't have any patience in reserve at this point. I worked until 8pm on Friday to try to catch up and it didn't even make a dent.

I'm sure there is more that I am leaving out, but those are the big ones. I've been head achy, sleepless, back pained and high strung. It's a terrible feeling like everywhere I turn, everything is crashing in on me.

But I always land on my feet. Because I have to, there is no other option.

Work In Progress

This will probably be a blog in parts today. I feel some momentum coming on. Here's the problem though. At work, I feel so darn tired! Brain fuzzy, I just want to crawl under my desk and snooze. However, when I get home I feel all wound up. The joy and exuberance of being home. I find it hard to go to bed. I don't want my home time to end and my work time to begin.

Being tired at work is not an ideal situation. There are too many things going on. I need to be on top of things. It also causes me to make bad food choices. Like today, I ate McDonald's, even though I had packed a lunch. I felt mentally that I needed a lift for being somewhere I didn't want to be. This cannot continue. It is destructive to my waistline and my wallet. I need to find strength.

I did my Small Thing today. Organize your baubles! I pulled down the jewelry hanger my grandparents had gotten me for Christmas and put my jewelry on it. I've been meaning to do it forever. Now it is done and I actually have my earrings paired! Wooo!

I have a load of laundry in, and next I will be doing the bills. My motivation for the bills is that the Roomie needs the current due balance. She is out applying for some waitressing jobs to help her along. She hasn't been able to pay me anything in over a month and she was already past due at her last payment with a carryover. I love her and I hope she gets this night job. Sadly though, helping her is sticking me financially. This happens to me all the time! I don't know why.

It's all the small things

Spring has sprung! This picture was taken outside of my work this morning. It was the first sign of spring that I have witnessed. It took me by complete surprise! I cannot wait until warmer weather arrives and I no longer need a big, bulky coat. I'm at a plateau with my weight loss and it becomes more discouraging as the season is changing. But I'm sure that when the time is right it will happen.

I ended up not feeling very well yesterday. A bit queasy and uncomfortable. So not much actually got done. However, I did return about 1/2 of my CD's to where they belonged. I'm hoping to finish that tomorrow. I've been frustrated trying to find them when they have been all scattered about.

I started reading some blogs and websites that I've added to the sidebar that I find to be inspirational. One in particular, Home Sanctuary, has an interesting feature called Small Things. You are given one small task a day to complete. I'm going to try to keep up with it. Today's was to clean the microwave. I did it, and I'm glad that I did because it needed it.

On my way home from work today, all of my gages on the dashboard of my car stopped working. They were all pointing to the bottom! I went immediately to the dealership. Lucky for me they were able to take a look at it right then. They agreed that it would be too dangerous for me to be driving about like that. Somehow the electrical wire that powers the gages had moved and gotten pinched. Completely unexplainable. I'm so relieved that it is fixed and that it only cost me $20!

I found some frozen meatballs in the freezer the other day and I took them out to defrost. So vermicelli and meatballs it was! I haven't had pasta in a while so it was a nice change. There is a bunch left over so I get a night or 2 off cooking and can get caught up on some other things when I get home from work.

Also, I started to store my left over morning coffee in my carafe in the morning. When I got home today I was able to have a nice hot cup of coffee with no waste! Which is good because coffee, as well as all the other groceries, has gotten a bit pricey to be so wasteful with it.

Tomorrow, I absolutely must pay the bills and find my donation slip so I can get my taxes done. I have to make an appointment for next week no matter what!

My First Post!

Happy Easter!

Or as a friend of mine likes to say, "Happy Ham for Jesus Day!". We were at the diner yesterday and realized that all the religious holidays have a serving of ham attached to them. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe Jesus was really fond of pork? If anyone has the answer to this, please tell me!

So, the purpose of this blog is for me to post about my dreams and reaching them. I've found that if I have a written account of what I am trying to accomplish it motivates me to stay on course.

So just what am I trying to accomplish? My end goal is to move to Virginia, get married to Will, and leave the work force to become a happy housewife.

Being a housewife is the only thing I have ever wanted to do since I was a little girl. Unfortunately, it has not been able to happen up to this point. But Will and I are in agreement on this dream and we are working towards it.

A year ago, Will and I met at the New York Comic Con, and it was love at first sight.
Ah, nerds in love! An amazing twist of fate. Someday I'll probably blog this story, but not today.

So, here are my dilemmas. Will is currently going through the divorce issues, working it all out. He has about another 4 months of separation to go through first. Just to let you know, I had nothing to do with this. He was already going through this when we met. I won't go into details, but his marriage was not a good one, things happened that could no longer be forgiven, and they are both happier now and are able to maintain a healthy relationship for their 2 boys. I honestly feel that them being able to work through issues for the good of the children is a priority. The kids come first above all else.

I own a house that I need to sell to move. A year of long distance relationship is a hard road we have traveled, but it has worked so far. It's given us both time to work out ourselves, our issues, and our dreams together. Communication is key. And due to the distance, we have worked on that well.

My house! Is a brick semi Victorian, about 108 years old. Its the right side of the picture. It needs a bit of work done to get it ready for sale. I started on this about a year ago, and I still have a million things to do. I also started purging and packing a year ago. I still have a bit of that left as well. But, I can tell you so far I have gotten rid of about 15 full carloads of stuff to Good Will as well as a UHaul truck of stuff to the dump. I will be clutter free in the future. Clean House has been an inspiration to me.



First posts are always so long! Today's to do list includes:
fix the front door knob
clean the living room
clean the fridge
trash out
laundry
make bed
ready for work items: pack breakfast and lunch, pick out clothes, set coffee, shower
pay bills

That's a lot! And It's already 2:30 and I'm still having coffee!